laughing isn't a crime (right?)

all i was doing was chatting to keri on the phone and laughing.
more often than not my main ways of communicating with keri are by either text message or e-mail, the phone calls are a rare occurance. yet everytime mum's fiance happens to be in when i either make or receive one of these rare calls i get glared at whenever i laugh. i've begun to try to avoid laughing all together when he happens to be in, i don't like being glared at. i either watch films i find funny in my room or wait till they've gone to bed before watching bbc3 or red dwarf or anything that might make me laugh. (i can't get a signal in my room, my tv's only useful for dvds or video tapes)
i'm under the impression that his way of thinking seems to be "how can you possibly laugh when we have no money? debts are piling up, we can't even afford a loaf right now and you laugh" either that or he just doesn't like me and seeing me show happiness in any way, shape or form bugs him immensly.
i do know that his moods can become more irrational when cash is running shorter than usual, i'm just getting fed up of being on the receiving end on most occasions. yes, being skint is crap, but it's not then end of the world, so why should i behave as though it is!
in nine months time i'll be going to uni, nanna wants me to go somewhere close, whereas currently i want to move as far away as i can.

i wanted to cheer myself up earlier so as soon as mum and gus went to bed i watched the pilot episode of invader zim, might put my monty python meaning of life cd on before i go to bed.

people ask me why i don't smile.
perhaps i don't permanently smile, doesn't mean i never smile. clearly those people can't have the knack (^U^)

*take care*
*(")